Long day. Work. Kid schedule. Dinner. Minecraft. Collapse in bed.
Take care.
24/90

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Too Much and Not Enough

There is too much chaos for me to keep track. It feels like there is not enough time to do the things I want to do.

Centering breathing and present moment practice really is going to be the way to retain my sanity.

That’s partially why I’m starting Experiment #1: 10 minute AM meditation for 30 days. I’ll be setting up a place to track these experiments over time. If I can find the time to do it. I’m carving out time right now to do this writing for 90 days, and the meditation for 30, so that’s probably enough for now!

Take care.
23/90

Another school shooting today. ~17 dead. Nothing will change. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out there are people who don’t believe it, and think it’s a conspiracy against the NRA. Kinda losing hope in our society in general.

It’s Valentine’s Day. Not typically a day we celebrate – we opt for an alternate “Loooove” celebration day, but we still got carry out, and I didn’t have to cook so YAY!

Got some plan altering news this evening. Today I started an experiment after the model I talked about in yesterday’s post. 10 min AM meditation daily for 30 days to see what I think. I’m not actually wondering if I’ll think it’s good, I’m wondering if I can keep it going for 30 days. Doing this 90 day writing has already had a few face plants. **shrug** Just gonna keep on movin’.

Also starting a 40 bags in 40 days challenge. It corresponds with Lent, but since I’m not a Catholic, and not even really a believer, it’s not a spiritual thing for me. It’s just the support of having people to talk to about it and get a teeny bit of accountability.

Speaking of accountability, I really need to be in bed.

Take care.
22/90

Procrastination

Saw an image meme with a quote on FB today by David Cain . Ended up hunting down the original blog post, Procrastination is not Laziness.

The person described in his post is 100% me. I got really excited when he wrote that he’d be doing “Experiment 11” to tackle the issue. I hunted that down and found Experiment Log No. 11 – An Attack on Procrastination.

While I wanted his findings to be the “magic pill” cure for procrastination (they weren’t), I just LOVE his mode of experimentation with life. Something not working, figure it out and try something else.

There’s so much I identify with in the first article. Self defeating thoughts pointing out why things won’t work, or why I’m fooling myself – it’s crazy. Even thinking about trying something different was immediately met with “You’re just doing this because you like to be ‘in your head’ rather than ‘going with the flow of life'”, and “You’re just going to waste time on this too – it’s too vague and see, he also ended the experiment as a failure, what makes you think you can do/be any different?”

Yes, these undermining thoughts are with me always.

There are a lot of tools available to helping me re-focus. The pomodoro timer method is one I will use today. I have an app that is a 25/5 routine that seems to help.

I haven’t done this kind of experiment before, but I like the idea. Trying something, learning, adjusting, and trying again. I love to learn. I want to grow and adapt. It puts my brain to good use instead of spinning and spinning.

Here goes!

Take care.

21/90

Observing

13 days down. I seem to be hitting all of my various moods here. I think I’m going through a bit of depression. It was a super rough morning, but this afternoon I decided to try just observing the thoughts and feelings rather than getting overwhelmed by them. That actually does help.

I also realized I was craving some sort of creative outlet, so I bought yarn on the way home and am working on a gift for my sister for her birthday. (Shhhh!)

I need sleep. Going to bed early has not yet happened, and won’t be happening tonight. This needs to change. Not sure how it’s gonna happen though. I have to want it more maybe?

Take care.
13/90